The coolest dorky shoes I have ever owned.

(I guess people dug my review of 5 Guys so reviewing things is gonna be a thing now, until someone says F’n Dave Fn’ stop)

So I saw these bad boys(Timberland Radlers) the other day and thought to myself…”wow…who the @#$@# would want shoes that look like that?” then I read you can fold them in half and they pack down to about the size of a wallet and I went “wow…who the @$#@ wouldn’t want shoes like that?”

on and off…this guy(or lady with masculine feet/hands) decided to go sans socks…I’m not a big fan of this as it makes my feet all swampy…and that’s no bueno…

They kinda look like Chucks made out of parachute material, with weird spaceman laces and a zipper running around the side but the ability to have two shoes that I could stash in my glove compartment, a pouch on my back pack, or even store in a cargo pant pocket was intriguing.  I hate lugging around a full sized pair of shoes.  You end up sacrificing a good portion of your pack or have them rattling around in your trunk when you try to take corners at 80 mph(which you should always do)  I found a pair new on ebay for $35 bucks(Timberland must really have missed the mark on these, they are all over the place for way below the original msrp and they made them in a gazillion colors, they must have had high hopes for them at one point)  So I paypaled off my cash and totally forgot that I ordered them.

taste the rainbow…with your feet….mmmmmmm

A few days later they showed up, and I skeptically opened up the box.  They were shipped in the “closed”/wallet position and when I unzipped them they sort of looked like two shriveled up sea creatures…I thought to myself “yeah…well…there goes 35 bucks…live and learn” but started wedging my feet parts into one of them(which is no easy feat more on that later) I got one slipped on and to my surprise it was not only AMAZINGLY comfortable(killer foamy insole feels like your walking on marshmellows) they have a super grippy rubber sole.  One of the killer benefits of the sole is it has no inclined wedge, so your feet are flat on the ground.  This may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it has been steadily growing on me.  It allows you to walk flat footed on the ground, instead of being slightly on your toes.  This being said, fancy smansy foldablitly and marshmellow feet only count for so much, how did they perform in the real world?  I spent the entire day on Saturday tramping around the Golden Gate area of San Fransisco to find out, and they did amazingly well.  Running, walking, climbing on stuff, jumping off things pass pass pass, green lights all the way down the board.  Zero fatigue on the soles of my feet or arches. (one word of caution, if you kick any bushes full of small flowers, they will become entrapped in the zipper part of the shoe and you will have a foot that is now frocked with tiny gleeful decorative flowers, this endued immediate panic in me but may float the boat of some)

the color combo I got…rugged yet zippery….

Which brings me to the Achille’s Heel(hardy har har) of these shoes.  The strappy thing on the back begs to be made of some type of stretchy elastic but for what ever reason Timberland decided to go with the same material as the rest of the shoe(plus an extra nylon strap sewn on so it’s extra rigid)  The negative of this is that its a cruel gauntlet of squirmy pain to get these suckers on.  I found that loosening the laces all the way up, jamming my toes all the way to the end and then sliding/cramming my heel in worked best(I would recommend getting these in a size larger than normal if you like a lil wiggle room)  The plus side to this is they aint going anywhere once you get them on, so if you like jumping on things or kicking stuff or getting in leg locks with hobos, not gonna be a problem.  The other negative is the zipper, its just kinda jangles around when your walking.  The pull tab is fabric so it doesn’t make noise but it just feels a lil weird. That being said, these are both minor gripes.  Would I buy these shoes again, hells yeah I would(they also come in leather and I was so won over by the parachute version I am now perusing their “dead animal skin” variants for the colder months of the year/zombie apocalypse)

They also come in crazy snow boot flavor…but alas…I have not yoga pants nor the pinoche to pull that look off….

yowza!

Two F’n thumbs way up from F’n Dave

2 thoughts on “The coolest dorky shoes I have ever owned.

  1. To provide a simple critique of your critique; you don’t have a link to where someone can purchase such awesome zipper shoes.

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