game set match…

wow….yeah I think that would pretty much solve the problem….and if it didnt you have a very dedicated dude on your tail….

if you can do this while putting on lipstick in an insane manner you get "Silence of the Lamb bonus points"

if you can do this while putting on lipstick in an insane manner you get “Silence of the Lamb bonus points”

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I love you…now get in my tummy….

Well done lil dude.  Someone posted this on a cooking forum.  “My nephew wanted to hug every lobster before we put it in the pot.  He said ‘thank you for feeding us’ to each one”

my love for the taste of your flesh out weighs my will power to let you go....

my love for the taste of your flesh out weighs my will power to let you go….

BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT!?

say hello to ya marbles fo me.....

say hello to ya marbles fo me…..

wow….not sure what to say about this one….apparently this is based on the true story of a bunch of weigh lifters that go rogue and kidnap a rich guy.  I guess the desired effect is, right when the viewer goes “Wtf am I watching…this is insanely bad…” you stop and go “Oh wait! Huzah! This sort of kinda really happened so I will judge it less harshly….well played Michael Bay! Well played!”

*Ironically the last two “what the hell is going on here?” movie trailers I have seen both have The Rock in them….maybe he is like the “Picasso” of modern day cinema….just maybe…..

not buying it….eagle shinanigans…..

I wasn’t gonna say nuffin cause I think people need something to believe in…but Im calling super shinanigans on that “Eagle vs Baby” video thats been lighting up the internet today……


Exhibit A:(close up enhanced version of the snatch and grab) “enhance….enhance……would you like to know more?”

watch the super slowmo version, right after the eagle drops the baby it bounces up and down for 2 frames(my two cents, the camera giggle key/composting software keyed in on the camera shake and flubbed the composting a wee bit)

If you have ever seen a large raptor pick up prey(I saw a golden eagle snag a jack rabbit in Spokane once, it looked like a plane crash) birds, even big ones, have extremely light bodies.  For the most part if they pick up a large mammal you will see a massive flurry of wing flaps as they try to compensate for taking on more weight than they normally carry.  In most cases they crash into the ground and sprawl on their prey)

this video shows the eagle pick up the kid in two wing flaps, either that eagle is doing a massive amount of steroids or that kid is made out of extremely light baby guts)

This is what I think really happened…….I want to believe…..

tiny godfather will have none of that!

tiny godfather will have none of that!

TIL – An exception to every rule……coconut crab

coconut crab....I would eat the @#$@#$ out of you....

coconut crab….I would eat the @#$@#$ out of you….

My deep seething hatred of spiders is a fairly well documented issue….but on the far side of the emotional spectrum is my great love for consuming shellfish(crab, shrimp, lobsters)  Today I learned that the Coconut crab is a large crustacean(that basically looks like a giant armored tarantula…the very essence of my nightmares) that lives in the tropics, spends most of its life on land, can crack coconuts with its claws, can get to be 3 feet from claw to claw and eats everything it can get its claws on.  Also, when cooked its meat has a sweet coconutty flavor…..

I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I HAVE CONSUMED YOU COCONUT CRAB….BEFORE I DIE YOU WILL BE MINE….

apparently these guys are so bad ass you have to tie them up like a war crimes criminal to cook them...

apparently these guys are so bad ass you have to tie them up like a war crimes criminal to cook them…